I'm not sure what inspires me to reach out to people. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's actually easier in real life than online. In real life, there's an entire environment that can inspire you to strike up conversation. There are buildings, local situations, objects, the other person, even weather, if you need a default. You already share location, you can already make some perception on how they're feeling, what kind of person they might be based on what they're doing and how they act.
Guy, for instance. I was walking to Macs to drop some mail and to grab a slushie and exchange a lotto ticket for my mom. I'm passing by a house when an older gentleman hauls out some trash to the curb, and he's got quite a pile already. There are thick bundles of carpet, so I ask him if he's been renovating.
You see what I did? There was an object, something tangible that I could seize on and easily communicate about.
When I came back, I hung around the block because I could hear him shuffling around and I wanted to offer him my help. He said I was awful considerate, the first person in my life I think to accuse me of being "sensible" after a short conversation about life and things within life. Since he was clearing out the basement after he felt need to evict his daughter, he gave me a couple of her things, like new, really, that were gonna end up in a landfill.
But that's not really quite my point. My point is that trying to communicate online is like dunking your head into a room full of buckets. You can tell a little bit about the buckets because you can sort of see their colour and a little bit of what's floating on top at the moment, but once you decide to stick your hands around in there..
No, that's not the metaphor I want either.
People are difficult. With a little emotional empathy and basic human understanding, you can read a person. You can read their words, too, but you're not given the full flavour of what they're feeling. You don't know the best way to approach them, or talk to them, sometimes even if you know them personally. Sometimes someone wants some attention, and you really go out there and try to lend them an ear, but you're just not the person they're looking for.
I think sometimes they don't really appreciate when someone is honest to goodness trying their best to give them a little of whatever they actually need, or they can just do without your particular brand of communication.
It's real disappointing when someone you used to admire in some way just shuts down when you talk to them. People who you could only admire from afar are so easy to contact, and as such you're open to people who you would probably never actually be able to hold a conversation with in the real world. Who you coincidentally can't seem to hold conversation with online either. Or maybe you could in real life, who knows. The internet offers us a screen-thick mask, and we really don't have to communicate a damn thing if we don't feel like it. Which is just... unfortunate, sometimes. I guess I'm a little sore because I can lurk to the edges of places as much as I'd like, but I can never seem to get into the thick of things like the artists or the writers or the big personalities do. It's just... annoying, actually. It can kinda hurt, which is probably what bothering to type any of this boils down to.